


Hopeful Hopelessness

by Skye_Elis



Category: Kelley O'Hara - Fandom, Preath, Tobin Heath/Christen Press - Fandom, christen Press/Tobin heath - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/F, but not yet, depictions of physical and emotional violence, depictions of verbal violence, my precious baby tobs and my precious baby chris fall in love, please beware, slowish burn, there will be fluff and cuteness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-22 18:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19969747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skye_Elis/pseuds/Skye_Elis
Summary: Tobin and Christen are college roommates from two very different backgrounds. They find love in an unexpected way.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I'm new to both Preath and writing fics. Any feedback will be so appreciated you can't imagine. Also there are probably some typos so please forgive me! My Tumblr is @campress

Tobin has been counting down the days to this moment since she learned how to count. When things got bad at home, which they often did, thoughts of this and all the moments leading up to this, were her escape. She imagined being a senior in high school finishing up the college applications. She imagined going out to the mailbox to find a letter with her name on it, she wondered if she would tear it open right there or if she would be patient enough to go to her room, so she could mentally prepare first.

she imagined what it would be like to pack up her things on the day when she would finally get to drive off, leaving this life behind her. She wondered what her dorm room would look like, who her roommate would be, what her class schedule would be like. She didn’t really know just yet what she would major in but that didn’t matter because she wouldn’t be at home anymore. And that was what she wondered the most, how it would feel like to finally be free. To not have to tiptoe around wondering when the next burn or punch or hit would land, or when she would have to hear how worthless she was and how much they regretted having her around. How no one would love her, or how she would not amount to anything. She had heard this over and over again. She had long accepted those words to be true, that was why she kept to herself because why subject others to her when her own parents didn’t enjoy her presence? Why care when no one cared for her in return? Nonetheless, hearing them still broke her to pieces. She never reacted to them though because the repercussions would be much worse than simply enduring it. She thought the violence was more bearable. The violence left tangible proof on her skin in ways that the words never did, proof of her pain, proof she wasn’t overreacting or making things up as they’d often accused her of doing.

Tobin knew that her escape would not come for many years, so she joined soccer as an alternative, as a right-now way of coping and escaping, to give her a reason to stay away from home just a little longer. Although she hated that she couldn’t change in the locker room with others or that she would sometimes have to fake being sick when actually she was recovering from a bruised rib, it was better than the alternative. So she kept at it. She practiced harder, she stayed long after the practice was over, at first just to avoid being at home but after a while, she started to fall in love with the game, with the thrill, with the feeling of being someone else, someone free and happy and capable. It helped that she was also super fucking good at it. It was what allowed her to go to college. Yes, her grades were good enough to get her actually accepted but her parents had long refused to financially support her if she moved out. She had been worried that her dream that had burned so brightly in her heart had been extinguished. Soccer gave her the opportunity to get scholarships to fund her dreams.

She remembers vividly that summer day when the letter from her dream college had arrived. She woke up, snuck in the kitchen to grab some breakfast, grabbed her headphones and went to the lake behind their home to wait for the mailman. She liked going there because she had a full view of her house so she could spot the mailman but she also didn’t have to be in the house in case someone got upset. When he finally pulled up she ran back over to greet him and receive the mail. She quickly took the pile he handed to her and started looking at each letter. She spotted the letter with her name on it. she had gotten full-ride acceptances from three other colleges so she was glad that she had them as a security net to fall back on. She patiently and calmly took the rest of the letters in before running back by the lake to open it. Finding out she had gotten in on a full scholarship made her feel better than any of the poets’ description of passionate romantic love. She felt hopeful, she felt like she could finally breathe for the first time in her life. She immediately started planning for the move. The first thing she did was find out when the earliest possible day was that she could move in.

Christen Press had a relatively uneventful childhood. She came from a stable upper-middle-class home, with doting parents whom she loved and who loved her in a way every parent should love their child. She was very close to them, and actually enjoyed spending time with them. They were two of her three best friends. She was intelligent, always performing well in school. She was organized, kind, and pretty fucking hilarious. She was a superstar on the pitch when CP had the ball defenders were left shaking. Yet she was still humble about it, explaining off all her success as a team effort. She was friends with everyone but her bestest friend was Kelley O’Hara. The two had met in kindergarten and the rest was history. She always knew she would go to college, but rarely thought about it unless she had to, like junior year when she was weighing her options, or senior year when she had to start all her applications or when Kelley and her found out they were going to the same college and could not stop dancing until the next day. Although they had agreed that it would be best not to room together because they needed to learn not to be so co-dependent, she was so glad she could have someone to make this transition with. She didn’t want to know what it felt like to be away from her best friend, and she was glad that now she didn’t have to. Both their parents had insisted on driving down to help them move in and neither really objected. She knew she was going to miss them, and knew to be so far from home would take a toll on her even though she’d already planned all the days she could go back and visit, and they had promised to call on the phone every day. She wanted to wait until the last possible minute to move in, but her parents thought it best to get settled in before classes and soccer begun, and she reluctantly agreed. She was a little nervous about meeting her new roomie. She had attempted to get in contact with her because she hoped that familiarizing herself with her over text will make their meeting easier, but had not heard a response back. She didn’t know whether to take this as a sign of potential hostility or not, but since she believed in the best in others, she picked the latter.

When she arrived at college, she found that her roommate had already arrived. Well, at least that was what she had gathered from finding roomie’s bed was already made and posters of different things, mainly soccer, hanging up on her side of the room. Her actual roommate, however, was not in the room.

The move-in was relatively easy, her and her parents moved all of her stuff in, they helped her decorate and set the furniture just right. They then went to get something to eat with Kelley and her family, before it was time for goodbyes. She knew she was going to cry hard, and she did. The waterworks weren’t one-sided as her parents were also in tears. She knew it was time for her to spread her wings but now that the moment was here she wanted to go back to when she was a little baby. They reassured her that the pain is only momentary and that the future holds way more for her than the past but that made her cry even more. After what was almost an hour but felt like minutes, they finally let go and drove off.

Christen’s eyes were puffy from all the crying, she hoped that her roommate would stay gone for the night so she could have some alone time to get her head in the right space before she had to put in the mental the effort of having to introduce herself, and have awkward small talk with the roommate. She was already regretting not rooming with Kelley. She decided to go take a shower, where she cried some more, dried off, brushed her teeth, did a face mask to reduce the swelling around her eyes, moisturized her whole body, and put on clean pajamas. She was feeling a little better and thought a good night sleep would be a good idea. She thought about journaling but decided against it, knowing she will start crying again and simply did not have the energy for it. Instead, she decided to distract herself with some music and scrolling through the phone for a while. Her hopes of having the room to herself for the night were shattered when she saw her roommate walk in. She had a slightly startled expression on with her tousled hair to the side and in casual white tee-sweatpants combo. As she took her in, Christen realized she preferred this view to any hopes of a night alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting both chapters today because they didn't meet in chapter one. Hope you enjoy! My tumblr is @campress

“Holy shit she’s the most beautiful girl that I’ve ever seen” was Tobin’s first thoughts upon laying her eyes on Christen. She took in her beautiful face, with her green eyes, and gorgeous soft skin which radiated well against the warm lamp and phone screen light. Her eyes looked a little puffy, and Tobin felt a pang of pain at the thought of this girl being in any kind of pain. She was brought out of her daze when the girl sat up. She realized she had been talking to Tobin.

“Um, sorry um, sorry could- could you repeat that, please? Sorry, my head is um, I just- um, I missed it” she said, immediately hating herself because now her stumbling question was the first thing this gorgeous girl will hear from. First impressions matter, she had always been told, and she hated that she was making such a terrible one on her. However, the girl didn’t seem to mind, fixing her soft gaze on Tobin.

“I was saying you must be Tobin, I’m Christen,” She said, finishing it off with the brightest smile Tobin had ever seen. How had Christen managed to become even more beautiful? Tobin thought there had to be a limit, someone as attractive as Christen shouldn’t be able to get even more attractive with just a flash of her smile. Tobin realized that once again Christen was waiting on her to respond. “Fuck! Why is am I like this, why couldn’t I be normal for like half a second,” she thought to herself

“Um, yeah sorry, yeah I am. Did you move in today?” She asked, again regretting it immediately. What kind of question is that of course, she came in today, I would have known if she’d been here before that! Christen, however, seemed to not think it was a stupid question. Her smile was still in place, and her gaze just as soft

“Yup! It was a long day but I’m glad the move is done. So I see you like soccer, do you also play?” Christen asked. The first team meeting was scheduled for Tuesday, so they hadn’t yet gotten to know everyone on the team.

Tobin was thrilled the conversation had taken a turn to soccer, finally something she knows well and can spend hours talking about! But she knew she shouldn’t just dive into it because she was worried she’d go on and on about it and Christen might not be interested in listening to her talk, her parents sure weren’t. So she decided to answer and gauge her response.

“Yes, I am playing. Do you like soccer?” Tobin asked, glad she managed to not stutter after every word.

“Yes! Oh my gosh, that’s going to be so cool! I’m glad we’ll be on the team together! I now know two other people there!” Christen responded excitedly

“Oh that’s pretty cool, um, what position do you play?” Tobin responded, her heart racing at the thought of her and Christen being around each other even more.

“I’m a forward, what about you?”

“Oh cool, I play midfield!” Tobin responded, finally moving from the spot, she had been standing to go sit down.

“Oh, nice! So where are you from Tobin the midfielder?” Tobin flinched a little remembering home but hoped Christen hadn’t noticed

“Portland, what about you?”

“I’m from LA, so you excited for college?” Christen responded.

“Been waiting for this my whole life” Tobin answers honestly. Christen doesn’t seem to give the response much thought and they continue talking about their future majors, speculating about teams, schedules, and whether or not frat parties would be fun. Conversation flows easily, there is something about Christen that Tobin can’t quite put her finger on, or maybe it’s the warm lighting, or maybe because she’s far from home but for the first time in her life, Tobin feels safe.


End file.
